8 things I learnt from the World of Wearable Awards Show

Lord Sutch took me on a ‘date’ to the World of Wearable Arts Award Show (WOW). It was amazing. It also gave me an opportunity to spread my wings (literally – look at that picture) and try blogging about something that’s not Nigella’s delicious, delicious food.

Kim at WOW2When you are married to The Ruminator, a date is never just a date

It’s information gathering for something we can write about later! Which I love, because it means we get to go to things like WOW together. It’s also ammunition-gathering for me. Because Twitter. If you like witnessing Dave get put in his place/verbally assaulted and you don’t follow me already, you should (@kimcooksforyou). It’s brutal.

I think I know why it started in Nelson…

I can’t believe that WOW is put on every year, and every year the show is so different to the one before. Every time the sections are big, beautiful and dramatic. I’m 78% sure the crew drop acid before they start brainstorming their ideas for the next show.

My career as a professional dancer was over long before I knew it

The choreography was spot on as always, and the dancers were a joy to watch. The men I always find especially mesmerising. I also wonder what their diets must be like. I could see all of their muscles on all of their bodies. No not that one, don’t be gross.

Mr and Mrs Ruminator had a radical style overhaul
Mr and Mrs Ruminator had a radical style overhaul

Bras should be a fashion statement, not something women hide

I can’t wait for the day when I get to wear paper mache birds over my chesticles to go and get milk from the dairy. Hell I don’t even know why I’m waiting. Watch out Saturday, I’m getting my craft on!

If you are a talented kid, you get to bounce around in priceless clothes

A friend likened the children’s ‘Colour’ section to what her mind looks like when she eats too much cheese. She’s spot on.

You can sew whatever you can find together and you’ve just made fashion

Maybe my three year old self was onto something when I insisted on wearing bubblewrap to my friend’s birthday party… not that I think that’s all it takes to be in this show. I don’t. I’ve seen Project Runway. I’m just saying maybe I was creative when I was three. Before I gave it all up for hookers and blow.

One hell of a fart
One hell of a fart

You need at least 50 portable fans surrounding you to make it look like you are floating

As well as a dozen beautiful men to escort you to make sure you don’t stand on the hundred kilometres of fabric you have billowing out in all directions.

Shaolin Monks are made of titanium

Move over Rihanna, you’ve got nothing on these guys. Acrobatics, fighting, a freaking nine year old with more talent in his fingernail than I have in my entire person; I would go to WOW again just to see their performance. At one stage a man was planking in mid air and then landing. As a plank. On his back. Titanium.

If you are on the fence about attending WOW, I suggest you do it. You might learn something about yourself. At the very least you’ll get to enjoy two hours of someone else’s beautiful, spectacular, enigmatic drug-fuelled trip.

 

Bling Warrior_Ali Khan Frida Khan_Qatar
Shake! Shake! Shake Senora! Shake it all the time!

 

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