Labour pains

**warning, this post a) is quite long and b) gets quite explicit in places**

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Bitter off without you

On Monday, 17 December 2013, I ended a six-year relationship. Well, I say ‘ended’, but we’re probably just going to be on a break for a while – it’s quite likely I’ll turn up on the doorstep, begging for forgiveness and asking to be taken back.

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A tight spot

There are many things to hate about winter.  I won’t bother going into them here, but we can probably all agree that winter, particularly in New Zealand, sucks the farts out of dead seagulls. And the worst thing about the miserable weather is the wardrobe.

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Google Me This

I’m 32 and I feel like I wasted my education. At present, I’m in France, traipsing around the countryside admiring castles and all sorts of other old shit. I’m scouring the leaflets and information signs attached to various wonders, but the main thing they illuminate is my ignorance.

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