Things Colin Craig didn’t say

Colin CraigIn support of our blogging brethren over at the Civilian, we thought we’d also note some things that Colin Craig didn’t say.

If you know of any other things that Colin Craig didn’t say, please contribute them in the comments, all we ask is that they are not offensive, they are fair, and Colin Craig didn’t say them:

“I did not have sex with that woman”.

“I believe in free love and equality for all, no matter man, female, trans, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or intersex. And I collect My Little Ponies”

“Why can’t two girls share that cup?”

“I love British Bulldogs and their little pushed in faces”

“One time I was at home and the sun was shining through my stained glass window and it hit the coffee table at just the right angle and I stubbed my toe”

“There’s only so much that one man can do, and that man is Allah.”

“I don’t understand the Baby Factory. Not only do they not sell babies, but one time I went in there to make one and they kicked me out.”

“How can you even tell if someone sucks at playing the bagpipes?”

“Why should Jews have the monopoly on little hats?”

“One time I was googling Gary Oldman and I left out a very important “R”, what is wrong with you people?”

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3 thoughts on “Things Colin Craig didn’t say

  1. Legalising gay marriage is wrong because it takes the naughty thrill out of anonymous 3am encounters in Central Park. Allegedly.

  2. If Players, play and Managers, manage, what do Alligators alligate?
    Clouds are God’s sneezes.
    Oh, look a unicorn.

  3. “parallel and equally legally entitled options.” Oh no, wait, he did…

    Clearly hasn’t realised that we cracked the code behind “separate but equal” in 1954. You’re using an outdated playbook chum.

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