Loren Heaphy of the Block fame has become a little bit well known for having a cry on national TV. She very kindly wrote a post on just that.
There’s a funny thing about tears. Sometimes, right when you don’t want them to, they visit you and drive you crazy. All you can think in your head is “Stop crying you bloody idiot, what are you? You’re made of tougher stuff than this!”
And then right when you think “God that’s actually pretty terrible, right now would probably be an appropriate time to cry” you’re as dry as a desert in a drought.
There’s been a bit of that going round on The Block NZ, and I’ve certainly been responsible for a fair share of the tears shed. I’ve never really been a crier. Sure, it rains on my face once or twice a year and then maybe again while secretly engaging in my addiction for cheesy rom-coms; but generally speaking I’m pretty stoic and sane of mind. And then suddenly a camera was in my face.
I don’t quite know what happened that fateful letterbox day, but it was as if all my emotions decided that now I was on camera, it’d be a great time to spill out. There we were, making the world’s crappiest letterbox and it seemed to me that surely Tom and I being on this DIY TV show was some kind of joke!
My inner monologue went something like this:
“Where are the hinges? What size hinge does he want? God – copper, gold or silver?! Does it matter? Ok, silver that’s good.
“We can do this…. LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF CRAP! What are we doing here? Oh my god, we suck – I’m so intimidated right now, look at what everyone else made.
“Ok, be positive it’s all ok. It’s totally ooooo kkkkkkkaaaaayyyyy….
“No it’s not because you’re losing miserably and if you can’t even build a letterbox, how on earth can you build a house?! You can’t. Basically, you’re screwed.
“Shit I’m crying. Crying? Suck it up princess – who cries when they’re making a letterbox?! Stop it Loren, just stop it. Argh! I can’t stop it!!”
Crying is one of those things that really polarises people. There are two camps – one, the sympathetic understanders who think crying is a valid form of expression and two, the downright haters who think you’re weak, soft of mind and whiney (I include the awkward footshifters in this group, who don’t know what to do when someone’s crying). Thus far I’ve been called a “cry baby”, a “whinger” and most interestingly “sooky lala” – is that actually a thing?
Grant Smithies wrote “Jesus wept. And actually so does Loz, at every opportunity” Now I know my good friends Alice and Caleb wouldn’t mind too much that I’m being compared to Our Father, but I take a bit of offence at the inference that I might be slightly in need of counselling. I’m pretty sure the last time I checked depression was a major New Zealand issue and comparing a few tears on a reality TV show to a debilitating and tragic disease is quite frankly, a bit off. But I’m not one to bag out a fellow Nelsonian, and I am partial to a bit of satirical wit so I’ll take it with the worldly grain of salt he meant it with.
I never set out to be the crier on The Block, but I can think of much worse things to be than that. I put my heart and soul into every decision we made and there comes a point where you have to let go and say “I am what I am. Take it or leave it, here it is: me, on a plate on national TV. Crying.”
There were moments of extreme highs where we laughed, where we danced, where we darn well celebrated our socks off. Sure it’d be better to be remembered as the girl who dressed really well, or the girl with that amazing body or possibly the really, really intelligent girl who’s also ridiculously good looking. Sadly, that’s neither realistic nor particularly worthy of making my Mum proud. And what makes her proud is a daughter in a loving relationship working her ass off to win a prize that could change her life.
So next time you find yourself tearing up just a bit, take a cue from my book and have a cry. Unless you’re in some kind of Board meeting or formal interview and then probably just try to suck it up until you get to the loos. But then it’s totally fine – as long as you’re wearing waterproof mascara!
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