Bring it back: Interesting tourists

Bring it back: Interesting tourists

Chelsea Hughes
0
Posted on December 2, 2013December 2, 2013

New Zealand’s tourist department used to attract all kinds of people to our shores. Nowadays they seem to target cashed up cruiseshippers, LOTRers and ~~winos~~ wine connoisseurs. Yawwwwn.

So for this installment of Bring it Back, I say let’s bring back interesting tourists. People so strange and wonderful we crane our necks with intrigue and disbelief.

Captives

Were you kidnapped in the 1980s and forced to live in New Zealand’s remote wilderness? Are you looking for a way out of your dire situation? Write now or send smoke signals for a free booklet with free tricks and tips for escaping your captor!

New Zealand. Tourist and Publicity Department. New Zealand. Tourist and Publicity Department :New Zealand, the great escape. Free booklet. Produced by New Zealand Tourist and Publicity Department. Printed in New Zealand. HO645/4M/4/84. P D Hasselberg, Government Printer, Wellington New Zealand, 1984. 15557B-4000/4/84MPK.. Ref: Eph-D-TOURISM-1984-02. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand.

Yuppies

Are you a wealthy American yuppie looking to cash in your trust fund? Visit New Zealand today, charter a yacht and embark on a cocaine-fueled tour of our beautiful waters!

New Zealand. Tourist and Publicity Department :New Zealand. Yacht charter, Bay of Islands. Produced by the New Zealand Tourist & Publicity Dept. P D Hasselberg, Government Printer, Wellington New Zealand. HO 528/10M/4/82. 76981H - 10,000/2/82DK. [1982] — New Zealand. Tourist and Publicity Department. New Zealand. Tourist and Publicity Department :New Zealand. Yacht charter, Bay of Islands. Produced by the New Zealand Tourist & Publicity Dept. P D Hasselberg, Government Printer, Wellington New Zealand. HO 528/10M/4/82. 76981H – 10,000/2/82DK. [1982]. Ref: Eph-E-TOURISM-1982-02. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand.

Unhappy Couples

Marriage on the rocks? Looking for new ways to ignore and resent each other? Book a cruise on the Milford Sound, where yelping seals will surely drown out the repulsive noises coming from your hideous spouse!

New Zealand. Tourism Department. Bridgman, George Frederick Thomas, 1897?-1966 :Milford Sound New Zealand. [New Zealand] Gov[ernmen]t Tourist Dep[artmen]t [ca 1935].. Ref: Eph-A-TOURISM-Milford-1935. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand.

Trout

Do you love trout? Have you been accused of being a trout? Sign up today for the “Judith ‘I’m not a trout’ Collins Fishing Adventure”!

Oompa Loompas

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got the perfect answer for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

What do you get when your skin is just white?
Boring and pale, like a ghost in the night.
Where can you go to turn your skin orange?
Nothing rhymes with oraaange.
I knew that that would happen.

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
Get on a plane and go to Rotorua.
Swim in sulphur, you’ll turn a nice hue,
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.
Do-ba-dee-doo

New Zealand Railways. Publicity Branch :Rotorua, New Zealand. Nature's cure, for thermal waters health and recreation. [1930s]. — New Zealand Railways. Publicity Branch. New Zealand Railways. Publicity Branch :Rotorua, New Zealand. Nature’s cure, for thermal waters health and recreation. [1930s].. New Zealand Railways. Publicity Branch :Better health – a better holiday. Rotorua, nature’s cure. Issued by the Railways Publicity Branch in conjunction with the Rotorua Borough Council and the Government Tourist Bureau. Printed by Whitcombe & Tombs Ltd [1930s].. Ref: Eph-A-TOURISM-Rotorua-1930s-02-back. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand.

The Ruminator