What to expect when you’re not expecting VI: Some good news for a change

Christ this is some rollercoaster. It’s way more exciting than the rollercoaster they had at that Footrot Flats themed park that used to exist in Auckland. That was the first rollercoaster I ever went on. 

On Monday, Kim and I went and had our preliminary scan to see how the follicles are growing. You want lots of these. And you want them to be in the sort of 12-15mm range. Kim had about the same number as we did at the last round, which of course ended in abandonment.

This was not the news we wanted and so we’ve spent the last couple of days vacillating between hope and despair. Which is weird. You try and mentally prep yourself for failure because you want to ease into the crushing disappointment rather than have it tumble on you like a tonne of bricks. But a piece of you is still hoping for some kind of recovery.

Metaphor in pictorial form

So with that in mind we approached this morning’s scan with a lot of nerves. A lot of “Oh well I guess if we fail again then we’ll just have to dust ourselves off and not be sad” and “I hope another fantail doesn’t die”.

We were also seeing a different doctor because our usual doctor wasn’t available, and that adds to the fear of the unknown.

I guess you can equate this to approaching the age your parents died? I’m lucky enough to have both of my parents alive so I don’t know that feeling, but it’s a hurdle you’re nervous about.

We had the scan and we are 500% in a better place than we were last time when we abandoned ship. The doctor even said we were in a “very good place”. There was such a jumble of emotions. Joy, excitement, relief, delight for Kim, delight for me, delight for the doctor (you feel very warmly disposed towards doctors who give you good news). The rush of positive vibes hasn’t been a common occurrence in this adventure and so I didn’t quite know how to mentally process it. I’m now tired. It’s only been an hour but I didn’t realise how much mental energy I’d been putting into this scan. And I don’t even have to do the scan.

This is only one more step in this giant adventure, but it’s a big step for us because we’re now in uncharted territory. Kim, as usual, has continued to be amazing. I, as usual, have contributed very little (that said I think I’m getting very good at making cups of tea).

We now have another couple of days of “stimming” as they call it, where Kim continues to shoot up morning and night, the follicles continue to grow, then they check on them again on Friday. If the follicles are mature enough then we get the trigger shot and harvesting begins 36 hours after that.

It’s another big go/no-go point and that’s terrifying, but if you’ll allow us to wallow in joy for the next 48 hours please that would be great.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts. You’ve made putting this all out on display so much easier with your support.

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